Difficult conversations - Part 2: Confronting the confrontation

 Do you usually talk about problems with the people that are upsetting you?

What can happen if you don't?

Watch the video with social scientist, author, and famous speaker, Simon Sinek. What does he suggest?


COMMUNICATION SKILLS
If you are trying to encourage someone to change their behaviour, try this:

1. accept your part of the responsibility. eg. I know I didn't listen/ I shouted. ...and I'm sorry

2. describe the problem from your point of view as an observation, not an emotion. e.g. I notice that...

3. Avoid exaggeration and generalization. eg. You never...

4. explain why the issue is important to you. eg. It means that I can't...

5. describe your feelings without acting them out. eg. I feel upset when...

6. request a change. eg.  Would you be willing to...

What's the problem with these statements?
You never ever do the dishes!
Just turn the music down, ok?
I know you like playing video games but the noise is too much.


USEFUL LANGUAGE
I hope you don't mind me saying this, but...

I appreciate that you want to...and I ...

It would be really helpful for me if you could...

It's just that you could...which would allow me to...

Can I suggest something? How about...? 

OWN IT!
1. In pairs, decide on two annoying behaviours each one of you has that makes living together or next to one another difficult.
2. Individually, prepare to explain the problems to your partner without offending them. (Use the tips in communication skills and useful language).
3. Discuss aiming to find a solution

ACT IT OUT!
 Act out the conversation in front of the group. How well did the other pair give feedback? How could they have done better?

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Interviewing

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First encounters

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Informal and Formal English

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