Difficult conversations - Part 2

Do you usually talk about problems with the people that are upsetting you?

What can happen if you don't? How far do you consider "embracing Discomfort for Growth" is applicable in life?

Read an article by social scientist, author, and famous speaker, Simon Sinek. What does he suggest?

READING STRATEGY

1. Start with the WIIFY (what's in it for you). This engages the reward system of the brain, improving concentration and memory.

2. Skim read for general ideas. This is not the time for detail. Titles, topic sentences and key words hold the major points that interest you.

3. Read the questions one by one. (Refrain from reading the options as this will confuse you.) Go back to the text, find and underline the  answer, then match with the optimal option. 

Key: pay special attention to the question key words! 

Answer the following questions

1. What is the first step that Simon Sinek suggests before starting an uncomfortable conversation?

   • A) Presenting solutions immediately
   • B) Seeking permission to begin the conversation
   • C) Raising the issue suddenly
   • D) Avoiding the topic

2. What does Sinek recommend using to structure an uncomfortable conversation?

   • A) A list of problems
   • B) The FBI method: Feelings, Behavior, Impact
   • C) A clear set of rules
   • D) A timeline of events

3. What is one benefit of expressing vulnerability during an uncomfortable conversation?

   • A) It makes the other person feel weak
   • B) It builds trust and reduces defensiveness
   • C) It encourages anger and frustration
   • D) It helps you win the argument

4. What is the goal of having uncomfortable but important conversations, according to Simon Sinek?

   • A) To avoid future conflicts
   • B) To change someone’s opinion
   • C) To foster personal growth and stronger connections
   • D) To prove you are right

5. How can using empathy in uncomfortable conversations help, according to Sinek?

   • A) It makes the conversation easier to control
   • B) It transforms discomfort into meaningful dialogue
   • C) It ensures the other person agrees with you
   • D) It leads to the other person apologizing

6. What should you focus on when using the FBI method in a conversation?

   • A) Feelings, Behavior, Impact
   • B) Feelings, Beliefs, Importance
   • C) Facts, Behavior, Ideas
   • D) Feelings, Bias, Information

7. According to Sinek, how should you approach initiating uncomfortable conversations?

• A) Without preparation and just speaking freely
• B) With empathy and permission to create a safe space
• C) By using forceful language
• D) By preparing an argument to convince the other person

Now watch a relevant video for a more in-depth understanding

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Create a summary aiming to reinforce key concepts from Simon Sinek's approach to handling uncomfortable conversations, promoting effective communication and personal development.

COMMUNICATION SKILLS

If you are trying to encourage someone to change their behaviour, try this:

1. accept your part of the responsibility. eg. I know I didn't listen/ I shouted. ...and I'm sorry

2. describe the problem from your point of view as an observation, not an emotion. e.g. I notice that...

3. Avoid exaggeration and generalization. eg. You never...

4. explain why the issue is important to you. eg. It means that I can't...

5. describe your feelings without acting them out. eg. I feel upset when...

6. request a change. eg.  Would you be willing to...

What's the problem with these statements?

You never ever do the dishes!

Just turn the music down, ok?

I know you like playing video games but the noise is too much.

USEFUL LANGUAGE

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but...

I appreciate that you want to...and I ...

It would be really helpful for me if you could...

It's just that you could...which would allow me to...

Can I suggest something? How about...? 

OWN IT!

1. In pairs, decide on two annoying behaviours each one of you has that makes living together or next to one another difficult.

2. Individually, prepare to explain the problems to your partner without offending them. (Use the tips in communication skills and useful language).

3. Discuss aiming to find a solution

ACT IT OUT!
 Act out the conversation. How well did the other pair give feedback? How could they have done better?

wishes